The Expendables 3 (A Horrible Movie)

Before I start slamming the new movie, I'd like to explain my stance on the series. I'll keep this as brief as I can.

When Sylvester Stallone first announced The Expendables, a film that would star a bunch of old-school action heroes and have a spirit drenched in the 80s, I was ecstatic. After the cast was announced? Not as much. However, I fully intended on seeing the film anyway. I remember walking out of the theater and being disappointed. The action was mediocre, the villains were no fun, and the coolest thing that happened was Stallone, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger had a small scene of dialogue together...yes, they talked for 2 minutes and it was still a bigger moment than anything else in the film.

About a year or so after the film came out, a Director's Cut was released on Blu-Ray. I never bothered to watch that version of the film. My Dad has it, but he didn't seem too impressed by it, and he loves the movie. So, I really doubt I'm missing much by not seeing it. However, I should probably watch it sometime, just in case haha.

In 2012, The Expendables 2 was released. It had been a summer of ups and downs as far as films go. The Avengers had rocked my world, Ted surpassed my expectations, Prometheus made me curse the name Lindelof, and I skipped Amazing Spider-Man and Dark Knight Rises because they looked like poo. So, as August rolled around and Stallone and his crew were back in theaters, I wasn't expecting much. Fortunately, I was very wrong. The second film fixed everything that was wrong with the first one. The villains had a bit of depth and I wanted to see them die, Arnold and Bruce joined in on the carnage, the lone female character wasn't boring and/or spouting cliched dialogue, and most importantly, the action was so much better. This time upon leaving the theater? Happy, maybe even giddy. Me and  Dad talked about who we wanted to join the franchise next, who we didn't, what could they do for a story next, etc. It was great. Hell, the only thing we didn't like was Chuck Norris. Sorry kids, but I've never liked him, except for that time Bruce Lee mopped the floor with him.

And now, here we are, 2014 The Expendables 3 and...well, it sucks. This film actually ranks lower than the first one for me. It is just terrible. And that's too bad, because there are some really great things going on here. Wesley Snipes and Antonio Banderas both shine as new(old) members of the team and although he's not given nearly enough to do, Mel Gibson is a damn fine villain. Also, surprisingly, Kelsey Grammer comes in and plays a role very similar to Mickey Rourke's in the first film and does a great job. Harrison Ford replaces Bruce Willis but feels kinda out of place here and Schwarzenegger is wasted. Oh yeah, they brought Jet Li back too, also wasted. The worst transgression is definitely the new-and-improved, modern, young Expendables. Ugh. My suspension of belief can't imagine Victor Ortiz and Glen Powell as being super tech-savvy and their acting is awful...but not as bad as Kellan Lutz and Ronda Rousey! Rousey is easily the most laughable of the bunch and has some of that awesomely stupid, cliched, tough female action dialogue. "Men". Hahahaha. Are they for real with this shit?

The movie opened in 4th place at the Box Office this weekend and will probably be dumped from theaters within two weeks. I've read a lot of articles blaming the weak numbers on the fact that the film leaked online a few weeks ago and that most people have already seen it. I highly doubt that, if anything, those who already saw the film probably warned friends and family not to waste their time. If only I had been so lucky.

There has been talk of a sequel or an all female spin-off. Honestly, let it die. A sequel will probably feature this "new generation" and instantly suck because of it. The spin-off idea sounds a bit hokey, but not because it's all female action stars...nope, instead I can just imagine all of them being written exactly like Rousey's character in this one. Torture. Pure, unadulterated, torture.

Let me know if I should give that Director's Cut a look sometime and stay as far away as you can from The Expendables 3.

Butch Cassidy, Young and Old

Haven't been feeling the best lately, so I've been streaming a lot of movies and catching up with titles I've never seen.

First up was Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Yup, never actually watched this film until yesterday. Overall, I liked the film, but found a few things that seemed out of place. The score was terrible in my opinion; it felt unnatural and forced. My other major gripe with the film is the bicycle sequence. Ugh. Between the song and the physical comedy on display during the bike ride, I felt pulled out of the film.

So, what did I really like? The chemistry between Paul Newman and Robert Redford is undeniable. It's crazy to think they only did two films together. There's not much action, but what is there is sufficient. I also really enjoyed the sepia-toned intro and photo slideshow near the halfway mark.

Final Verdict: If you like Westerns at all, or films from the late 60s early 70s, then give this one a look. DVD and Blu-Ray are both in print and easily obtainable, the film is also currently streaming on Netflix.

Next up is Blackthorn. This film is from 2011 and features an older Butch Cassidy and his further adventures in South America. I was disappointed by this film. The story is terrible and features flashbacks that tell an altered (and condensed) version of Butch and Sundance making their way south to Bolivia. Unfortunately, the flashbacks feature the best acting, but are dreadfully short.

Did I like anything about the film? Well, yeah. The locales where the movie was filmed are quite beautiful and at times lend an almost eerie feeling to the proceedings. I'm not sure if that was intentional or not. Also, the music, although a little strange, fits this film a lot better than the last go round.

Final Verdict: Only watch this if you are curious and/or want to see a sort-of sequel to the 1969 film. I believe the DVD and Blu-Ray are in print and the film is being streamed through Amazon Prime.

I did a little research and found a couple of other unofficial sequels that were made as TV Movies in the 70s, along with a prequel also made in the 70s. If I can find them, I'll give em a look and let you know.

Oh How Silly of Me

This blog is such a failure haha. I am extremely neglectful. Honestly? I never make time for this thing and always set stupid goals within it. The sad part is that I'm often sitting around bored and wondering what I could do to fill the time. Hmmm. Maybe I should write a blog post? Nah, that sounds stupid. Well...here we are. Once again.

There may be more activity coming in the near future. The big 3-0 is coming up and I intend to cry about it quite a bit. I'm interested in starting up a Youtube channel and if I get that going, this blog will probably be even more neglected (is that possible?). I would really like to do some game streaming, ranting about random topics, Loot Crate unboxings, and maybe some reviews.

The wife is doing well, gonna start teaching soon, so that's exciting. I've been working on my comic book and making some real progress with the story and dialogue.

That's all for now, see you soon (fingers crossed)!